In a rush right now...got about ten minutes before I got to the place where I haul people in and out and then move their dirty dishes. I'm starting to sicken of my perpetual self-righteousness- that I see so much work and my reaction is, "What am I looking at?" and I think, jesus, people are putting out such careless crap that I could put a little of my efforts into something and in comparison it would still be something more. More what? More genuine. More well-constructed. But that is comparison and that is not the point. I remind myself now- I need to work privately, and people don't need to know my woes or deep gouging frustrations- and if I show work that I personally find to be sub-par, I am dropping down to that level myself, to compete and be seen- when what I know I need to work for is to see for myself and translate this in a comprehensive enough fashion that I can stand by my work and firmly know that this is the best I'm doing and it ought to be seen. Just to keep working, when there is no promise of some far off sense of completion.
